Bites

26114119Published: August 23, 2016
Publisher: Tor Books
Author: Website
Info: Goodreads

In an auction house in London, there is a mirror no one will buy. Standing seven feet tall and reaching four feet across, its size makes it unusual. Its horrific powers make it extraordinary. For centuries, the mirror has fed off of the lives of humans, giving them agonizing deaths and sucking their souls into its hellish world.

When Jonathan Frazer, the wealthy owner of a furniture and antiques shop in Los Angeles, buys the mirror at an auction, he believes he is getting the bargain of a lifetime. With its age and size, it is easily worth eight times what he paid for it. At this point, the mirror has sat dormant for years. But within days of Jonathan’s purchase, the deaths begin again. One employee is crushed when the mirror falls on top of him. A few days later, the corpse of another is found in front of the mirror, brutally stabbed. A third is burned beyond all recognition. All the while, an enormous man with a scarred face is following Jonathan, demanding that he give him the mirror and killing any police officer that gets in his way.

The police are becoming desperate. As the death toll rises, Jonathan himself becomes a suspect. He knows there is something wrong with the mirror. He knows it’s dangerous. But he cannot bring himself to get rid of it. Everyday he becomes more captivated by the mirror.

For the mirror is awakening, and its powers are resurfacing. (goodreads.com)

What is it about horror that begs for gratuitous sex? I don’t get it. Actually, I’m wondering if it’s one of those deeply-seeded societal issues inherent in the majority of the population where sex =  evil and only bad things come from sex. Take this mirror that’s fueled literally by male spooge, female orgasms, and blood. People have sex and bad things get unleashed on the world. I honestly don’t get it. Where’s Freud when you need him?

I was intrigued by the book because mirrors are a pain point for me. They freak me out and I’m always on the look-out for books that will actually scare me. What better way to attempt to ensure that than reading something about an object that really does give me the willies? Except I get a mirror that feeds on cum stains and pulsating pussies and it’s left me wondering what sort of Night of the Living Dead B-movie I just fell into. Heavy breasts and dark nipples abound here.

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How fitting are their faces right now?

There were a lot of ill-placed exclamation points that were just kind of flicks to my nose every time I saw them. Most of the time it wasn’t in dialogue. And it liked to happen at moments where SCARY THING JUST HAPPENED! <–emphasis Except that little exclamation point has the opposite effect on me. This book didn’t rely on me to posit what was and wasn’t scary. It told me with punctuation. And just the all around voice was off. No sense of immediacy, I didn’t really feel invested in any of the characters. I was just reading along, waiting for the story to end.

I mean, I didn’t feel like it was a slog to read, so at least there’s that. I was able to get through it pretty quickly. But it was not scary in the slightest. From sentence construction itself to voice to just the basic plot, it didn’t leave much to the imagination, and I find that’s where horror really dwells. I felt spoon-fed. And the sex. Holy crap. Don’t get me wrong. I love sex in a story, when the story calls for it. But this is just . . . off. It’s like, I get it. Sex is the root of all evil, especially female sex. Move on already.

I can forgive oddball elements in a book if the story’s at least good, but that’s not what we have here. Forget MIRROR IMAGE. If you want cheeseball, just watch some campy 80s horror on Netflix. At least that’s entertaining. This was just . . . meh.

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I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

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