Bites

Aside from the fact that Joel Schumacher’s THE LOST BOYS is still being talked about twenty-five years after it’s initial theatrical release, despite the fact that the mayor of Santa Cruz, California has deemed July 25 as Lost Boys Day, despite the underground fandom, from the diehard to the weekend warrior, that keeps the movie afloat, despite the mullets abound and the 80s clothes galore, THE LOST BOYS still lives on and still gets credit for being the fanged catalyst of current teen vampire movies.

THE LOST BOYS made vampires sexy, riding around on motorcycles, clad in leather.  It stopped being about ugly Nosferatu sleeping in dank cellars and corrupting the virginities of maidens everywhere and started being about the sex appeal.  Most girls and women have a bit of a bad boy complex.  ‘Sleep all day, party all night, never grow old, never die’ became an anthem for all who are young, wanting to live an epic life with no consequences, so fears and no death.  Mix the two together and you’re not only pulling in a swarm of ladies salivating for a ride but even the guys that want to be total bas asses.

Dwayne, the only non-blonde, was the only one that could ever be considered brooding but that’s just not the right word for it.  ‘Stoic’ is a term that comes up often in the fandom.  He doesn’t sit around and piss and moan about his life all day (night?).  He just doesn’t talk much.  And he’ll eat your face all the same.

Like the article said, THE LOST BOYS made vampires fun.  It clawed them out of the dirt graves and made them appealing to both sexes.  It was the unsuspecting Michael they ended up roping in, not some clumsy little halfwit that would have barely been a consideration for a snack let alone an eternal love object.

So I’ll say this again, just in case some Twihards didn’t hear me: THE LOST BOYS WIN.  Period.  Let’s see if people are talking about TWILIGHT with the same adoration in another twenty years and we’ll re-evaluate this position if the need arises.  Until then, you can take your glitter pixies and smoke ’em.  NEAR DARK did the fangless vampires twenty years before TWILIGHT, Louis was getting his period about his eternal damnation about thirty years before Edward blew out his hair and only the ever-spilling guts of THE LOST BOYS glitter after they’ve been stabbed in the heart.  Or drowned in a bathtub filled with holy water.

So blow me.  I’ll keep my Twisted Sister-looking, motorcycle-riding, Boardwalk-playing, coastal California-living vampire savages over your staring-mournfully-out-a-rainy-window, “vegetarian,” college-love-song-writing, wingless glitter pixies any day.

OR

The only thing they have in common is a popped collar.  Kiefer’s smirk versus Robert’s lack-of-bowel-movements face?  Gee . . .

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