Bites

Published August 1, 2010.

Author website.

They’ve gotten good grades – but that’s not good enough. They’ve spent hours on community service – but that’s not good enough. Finn and Chloe’s advisor says that colleges have enough kids with good grades and perfect attendance, so Chloe decides they’ll have to attract attention another way. She and Finn will stage Chloe’s disappearance, and then, when CNN is on their doorstep and the nation is riveted, Finn will find and save her. It seems like the perfect plan – until things start to go wrong. Very wrong. (goodreads.com)

Have you ever read a book and while reading it your perception of yourself dissolves into something horrifying? Like you’re reading completely awful, irredeemable characters who are unabashedly okay with what their doing that that shame and guilt has nowhere else to go but into you and thus you feel nothing but shame and guilt on these characters behalf because what they’re doing is so unbelievably terrible that SOMEONE has to feel bad about it? No? Okay so I felt like a completely awful person for reading ACCOMPLICE, as if it were real and I had the power to stop these two atrocious bitches from carrying on their lie and harming everyone around them but I, too, did nothing and watched it play out in wide-eyed train-wreck horror.
These two girls were sociopaths. Irredeemable, soulless, selfish, atrocious human beings for pulling off a stunt like this. And when it started to head south instead of coming clean and sacrificing themselves because, you know, it was the RIGHT thing to do, they let it all play out at the expense of innocent people, the American public, tax payer money and a good college. Holy crap. Did I mention I felt like a completely worthless human being reading this?
Reading Finn’s point of view was disgusting. She kept saying, at points, that she felt bad and this was WRONG and they should turn themselves in but that was interspersed between getting the right camera angle for her face, what outfit to wear on national TV and just what the perfect level of tear face was. Needless to say I had a hard time believing anything Finn said about feeling guilty because her actions spoke far louder than any of her words did.
Chloe was just completely and soullessly insane by the end of it. It’s not in her POV but you still get to see her crazy in full on spotlights and you still get to see what a manipulative, egomaniacal bitch she really is and just how much of a lapdog Finn is. I would say blame the parents but I wouldn’t know what to blame them for. Not chaining them to the radiator? I have no idea. This was one of those horrible teen decisions that completely raped all other teen decisions by about 30 years in jail. If these were my kids I honestly have no idea how I would react. I certainly wouldn’t protect them but I don’t know if I’d beat the everloving fuck out of the before they went to jail first or not. And Protective Services would probably let me do it because this is just one of those thing that, well, deserve it.
I only kept reading because I wanted to see how it ended. I wanted to see if these two soulless creatures got their comeuppance. I don’t want to spoil so I’ll say it was too little, too late. It’s only when one gets left in the dust while the other goes off and succeeds and only after the dust bunny sees the aftereffects of the horror they caused does she realize “this is kinda shitty.” So like the last sentence redeemed itself but it was like “it took you that long to do it?” Disappointed.
Not to mention I don’t find it at all plausible that something like this could actually be pulled off successfully without anyone being any the wiser. There were far too many holes in the girls’ logic, too much evidence and too much looking in the other direction to service the plot.
So what do we have? Two heartless bitches decide to pull an epic stunt in order to get into college to the detriment of hundreds of people except them who really don’t eat their just desserts in the end although it’s insinuated that they do. Finn’s actions and thoughts completely contradict each other and Chloe is the obvious benefactor in this equation because she’s pretty. Everyone knows you can’t be kinda plain and be successful at something like this. As we’re so reminded by Finn every other effing page. Yeah, sorry. I don’t really have much good going for ACCOMPLICE. The idea was good but the execution was rather horrifying. In a story like this I think it really helps, especially if you have inherently unlikeable characters, to have them get it in the end. And I mean really get it. Because when they don’t? It really sucks. There’s no validation, no closure, nothing. And that’s a killer.
So, um, read it for the crazy chicks. Just be prepared to be the sponge for all the shame and guilt they DON’T feel. It was horrible.


Ban Factor: High – Two miscreants thumbing their noses at the law for the sake of a college essay. Teenagers unhinged? For shame!

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