Bites
December 10, 2011

I just don’t care.

Not that I don’t care about my own blog, or about other people. What I don’t care about is what you do on your blog because that’s all you. I came to the slow but steady realization late this year that complaining about how other bloggers handle their blogs will only result in flared tempers, mild pissy fits and gritted teeth. By the one getting cranky. The person/people it’s directed at? Just what are the chances that they’ll change because someone else complained, usually indirectly, about what they had on their blog or how they operated? Slim to none. Really, what’s the point in getting all riled up about something you have absolutely no control over?
I will readily admit I’ve done my share of complaining. My most recent gripe from a few months ago was about personality-less blogs filled with nothing but memes. Yeah, they’re annoying and they grate me to see. But really, if that’s how you want to run your blog, that’s your prerogative. Who am I to try and get you to change? Who is anyone? I’ve also commented on music (which is annoying but ultimately easily remedied by a volume control), bad colors (feed reader anyone?) and CAPSCHA (I still don’t understand why people go feral over this). And let’s not forget negative reviews. Oh how that one keeps cropping up! But you know what? If I want to write a 100% negative review because I found absolutely NOTHING redeeming about a book I just read, what’s it to anyone else but me? If I’m justified, if my opinion is supported, why should I attempt to find something good despite the fact that I really couldn’t simply because I run the risk of getting backhandedly harangued about it by someone else? I just don’t care enough.
And because I came to this realization that getting worked up over something not in my control isn’t worth my time, seeing other people posting about it kind of got me angry (kind of counterproductive, I know). Listen, I’ve been doing this for three years next month and the entire time I’ve been doing it, I’ve seen post after post after post, across different bloggers and amongst the same bloggers, offering words of advice on how to fashion one’s blog, how to write reviews (or not) and so on. But it gets to a point where one really needs to ask oneself –


Really, where does the help end and the nagging begin? Where does the fault lie; with the person unwilling to change their blog to conform to the wills of others or to the people that insist on stating the same opinion repeatedly with the hopes that, maybe this time, it’ll change? I’m not on eleven billion social networking sites. I barely use Twitter. I only cross-post my reviews at 3 other sites. I don’t post enough reviews. I prefer CAPSCHA. Whose problem is this other than my own, if I were so inclined to call it a problem?

If someone was seriously adamant about improving their site, they’d seek out the information for themselves because there is a shit-ton of it out there. But to see it posted over and over and over again saying, essentially, you kind of suck because you do or don’t do this, that and the other thing and you’ll stay kind of sucking until you change, it makes me doubt myself and I’ll be damned if I do that in my own space. And I’ll be damned if I make someone else feel like that. I got enough of that shit in high school.
So if you want to use CAPSCHA, I say use it. If someone is so feral against it that they will absolutely not visit your blog until you remove it, quite frankly I don’t think that’s someone you want visiting your site. If you don’t feel comfortable removing it, don’t remove it. Same goes for music, negative reviews, shitty layouts and whatnot. Learn by doing works for a lot of people, like me. I don’t learn by being talked at. On the adverse side, if you want to continue posting those seemingly helpful posts, have at it. You won’t see me complaining about it in 2012. You also won’t see me reading them either. Because I just don’t care enough. The unfollow function is a wonderful thing.
As someone that works in a professional business industry, I’m fully capable of weeding out my problem clients from my darling clients, even with there being hundreds of them and only one of me. I think it’s safe to say the publishers and the publicists and the authors can do the same thing. If someone’s super shitty at reviews, it’ll show. You won’t be the only one to see it. If someone’s site is so bad that it’s inaccessible, other people will notice it too. If someone’s an unprofessional dick, GUARANTEED that will get noticed. So I just don’t see the point in getting worked up over something that no one could control if they tried unless they happened to be that particular blog owner. And because of that I don’t see the point in trying to force (or should I say strongly suggest?) personal preferences on other people simply because it appears to be the majority thinking.
So in 2012 I promise not to complain about the actions or websites of other bloggers unless it’s something that directly affects me. Like someone stealing my shit. Oh I won’t let that one go. Or someone making an unrelated comment on a post to shill their own blog. No dice. Things like that I can control. Blogobotting, music, CAPSCHA, shameless self-back-patting, bad colors, ad nauseum I can’t. So what do I care? Someone else’s use of CAPSCHA doesn’t affect me. Someone with an undying passion for memes isn’t my problem. What I care about is my blog and how I function and I’m going to stick to it.
I understand that people view the book blogging world as a blanket term. One blogger is just like the next. But we know that isn’t the case. We don’t function under a common system. We don’t answer to anyone but our individual selves. No matter how much we insist, we can’t force people to change. They’re going to have to want to change on their own and, if it were me, if I had people stuffing “recommendations” down my throat I’d fight it just out of principle. But that’s just me.
So consider me out of the ring of book blogger nagging/helping/advice next year. I don’t like the way it makes me feel and I don’t want to impose that feeling on anyone else, if I haven’t done it already. Does this make me sensitive? Maybe to some. Personally I’m just over it all. Run your blog how you like; just leave mine to me.

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