Bites
October 12, 2011

I’ve been a phony for years, always too ashamed to man up to my fault. My big, glaring zit at the end of my nose. But I think now it’s time. Now it’s time to come clean and own my issue, my phoniness. It’s time to make it all go away and expose myself for the big fat phony that I am.
For years, really for as long as I can remember, I’ve touted Stephen King as one of my favorite authors ever. A master of horror, one could never get any better than him. When people would go ‘oh yeah! remember when . . .” I’d bug my eyes at the right moments and vigorously agree. Or “wasn’t it horrible when . . .” Oh yeah! Absolutely!
The truth? I’ve barely read any of the man’s books. THE STAND, CARRIE, CHRISTINE, IT, not on my list. In fact, I barely take up a hand naming the titles I’ve read by Stephen King. And I feel like a dick because of it. Does that change my opinion of him? Of course not. From what I’ve read I’ve loved. I will still applaud King as being a horror master (with due rights to tell people like SMeyer that they suck at writing). I’m just probably not as well read as I should be, claiming I’m such a big fan of his.
What I’ve read?
  • PET SEMATARY
  • GREEN MILE
  • EVERYTHING’S EVENTUAL
  • NIGHT SHIFT
  • NIGHTMARES AND DREAMSCAPES
  • ON WRITING
How much has the man written over the last 30 years? And that’s ALL I’ve read? I’m ashamed of myself. No more will I lie! No more arbitrary head-nodding! It’s the truth . . . and finding some time to not make myself look so much like a dick.
Are you a phony? What authors or books make you hang your head in shame and then lie to the world so you can fit in?

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